Resolution or recovery?

People want many different things from therapy – to be happier; to not lose it so often; to feel more comfortable in their own skin. Often there is nothing definite, just a general feeling of things not being right for a long time.

During therapy, people can sometimes uncover situations from the past that are having effects today, affecting thoughts, feelings and behaviour. These can feel like old wounds and can be disconcerting and unsettling for people, as their understanding of themselves and sometimes of others will be challenged.

As a therapist, I can see that looking at the feelings and thoughts from the past and slowly and gently bringing them into the present, can bring a resolution that vastly reduces the power these wounds have to disturb the present. You can’t change the past, but you can settle your understanding of it so you have more freedom.

Many clients are really up for this and, once they can see how the past is still triggering thoughts and behaviours now, want to find resolution of their old wounds. Others are clear this is not for them and I help them compassionately recover them (for now or for ever); we can then explore what is the best way for them to gain a new sense of themselves and a way forward. For example, looking to the future can excite and give people a sense of purpose, regain ground that maybe has been lost along the way: what will life look like in 1 year? 5 years? Can I plan my way forward? What do I need to do today to take the next step?

Part of my job is helping you to decide whether you want to look at old wounds or not, to keep you safe through the process of working with them and helping respectfully recover them if you choose not to. I believe everyone can find the right path: resolution or recovering. And both involve you finding a new way of being you, of being more comfortable in your own skin.

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